Where Equaltiy Doesn't Work

Does women’s equality with men threaten the fabric of our society? Surely not. Human equality is a foremost claim of Scripture, and our secular culture has increasingly majored on this since women gained the vote. Even differing roles for the sexes do not undercut equal value.

In fact, ignoring one traditional distinction between women and men leads to a major problem: not whether women should be in the workplace or men in the home or similar issues, but the traditional differing attitude to sexuality.

Men are generally the initiators of sexual liaisons to which women respond—where women have that freedom. There is no female equivalent of “womanizer.” The continuing presence of prostitution is a response to the demands of men, not the desire of women.

Rather, women naturally seek security and shelter from a man, using their ability to attract a man by the “tender trap.” But men, usually the predators in society, carry the first responsibility for destroying the designed function for the sexes in procreation and family security.

However, in the early days of radical feminism, women sought equality by striving to subjugate or replace men—even trying to be men. Women, so “liberated,” now used their “freedom” to instigate sexual encounters, giving rise to a growing segment of “cougars.”

This perceived sexual equality reverses women’s choice to say “no,” the final line of defence for a culture’s morality. Women who indulge in this practice advance a descent into moral anarchy and the fracturing of families; the glue of society.

Eve committed the first sin, but Adam’s participation in it made him complicit. In an ironic reversal of fortunes, men generally initiate entry into illicit sexuality, but women become complicit when they consent to it—even more so when they provoke it.

Women predators are normally in the minority, occasionally referred to in the Bible. Scripture frequently depicts Israel as one by her unfaithfulness to God; Proverbs speaks of the seductive adulteress, Proverbs 5:3–6, and we can recall Potiphar’s wife.

But the growing sector of women sexual predators in our culture begins to upset the balance of enduring monogamy and caring for children of the marriage union. Children become an unfortunate by-product of sexual recreation, leading to widespread abortion and disturbed children.

God has provided a partnership in marriage that brings strength to a community. Women offer a stabilizing influence to a community when they a draw men into an enduring, faithful union.

Why Am I a Christian?

I am not naturally religious. I easily identify with the atheist who considers the world’s immense suffering gives little evidence of a superior being, or the postmodernist who sees Christianity as one religion among many, and adapts or invents one according to personal logic.

Or, like the secularist, it is easy to accept that some higher power brought the world into being, but life generally belies the fact that God is still involved in our sorry state. Then I’d be a practical atheist—believing in God but living as though He didn’t exist.

So why am I a Christian? Those who lack the experience of a Christian home may inherit a scepticism that inoculates them from considering Christ’s claims. I grew up in a Christian home that gave me a view of Christianity from the inside and I lacked the disadvantage of the popular critical view.

Eventually, I discovered the Bible carried its own authority and gave the only meaningful explanation of life as we know it. Further, it squarely faces the problem of evil and provides a remedy, for its cause and its cure. All other philosophies pale in comparison.

But emotion still played a part. At ten years of age, the crucifixion of Christ impressed on me the depth of God’s love compelling me to decide for Him. The advancing years have proved the Bible’s wisdom and authenticity.

Today, happily married for fifty eight years, I enjoy the companionship of a close and growing family, a continuing purposeful life and confidence for the future, here and hereafter. I place my gratitude firmly in God who drew me into His family and His legacy of wisdom for life.

Adultery: Pleasure or Misery

Why dabble in adultery?

Adultery is often a drug to cover anger or emptiness, to escape the challenges of home life—pleasure without the accompanying worries, and sexual fulfilment, like alcohol, usually provides some relief and pleasure.

But Proverbs (5:3–4) suggests what is sweet to the taste can become sour in the stomach. Nathan predicted David’s moments of pleasure would lead to a lifetime of distress, for himself and his family (2 Samuel 12:9–10).

It may not be possible to follow a lifetime of the causes and effects of adultery. But it’s easy to forecast hostility resulting from infidelity: anger, loss of trust, and the pain of betrayal.

Further, a variety of attitudes by an adulterous husband—or wife in today’s free and equal culture—from outright denial or excuses to utter remorse and self-reproach can only add to the conflict, and the affair might still drag on after discovery.

Even if it doesn’t, a wife’s loss can trigger a prolonged period of mourning countered by the impatience of the husband. Without reconciliation, the marriage may break up, or continue an uneasy co-existence, the wife using guilt to hold the husband hostage.

Infidelity creates a near death experience for a marriage, yet many marriages survive and become meaningful for both partners again. Most of David’s life is a remarkable record of his source of survival; he never lost his confidence in God in the midst of adversity

David’s psalms are the legacy of his victories for us in times of difficulty. David found pardon in the grace of God’s forgiveness and protection, although still facing the consequences of his sin. David’s example can bring both comfort and strength to continue through adversity.

David’s brief fling resulted in a lifetime of family conflict. Too often, the continuing depth of pain and misery of a broken marriage causes us to retreat from God. But as David found, God is our ultimate source of strength when we need Him the most.

How Equal Are We?

Ann and I were born, raised and married in England, in an entirely different culture to the current North American culture. It was a Christian culture—not one in which everyone was a Christian, but where Christian values were universally accepted. 

However, our marriage partnership was definitely patriarchal; the wife was expected to support decisions made by the husband. Although discussed together, the decision to emigrate to Canada in the 60’s was my decision. Ann dutifully went along, although she confided later that she thought I was crazy—I had just completed my architectural training and was ready to develop a career. This union was clearly not the equal partnership of the Bible.

After arriving in Canada, things changed. Ann noticed the independence of North American women and realized the lopsided arrangement of our marriage. With assertion on her part and bewilderment on mine, things began to change. If she was uncomfortable with a projected decision of mine, I heard about it.

So began an education on my part and a balancing of the marriage responsibility. Despite my Christian background, I had not yet come to an understanding of the relationship between husband and wife that the Bible taught, rather accepting the patriarchal version of biblical interpretation that was current—and convenient—at the time.

I could have considered that this change was belittling to my manhood. But I found that the injection of female ideas and intuition into our plans contributed to better decisions. Not only that, I began to appreciate more the abilities and plain commonsense of the lovely and talented wife God had given me.

How could I have been so ignorant of the great resources Ann brought to our marriage and blind to the guidance scripture gave me? The simple answer is arrogance; I simply believed that I always had the better and final answers to all of life’s questions.