Saturday December 27, 2008

Live a life of love. Ephesians 5:2

I have mentioned previously that our daughter’s family and their friend from an attached suite have four dogs between them—usually all together in the house, and all BIG dogs! Mealtime is particularly instructive. We like to think dogs are animals of faithfulness, but we soon find their interest is far more mercenary. They all take up positions around the table, their eyes telling you they haven’t been fed for days. They wait for some relenting dupe to fall for their deception, or remain in a catch stance for any food that falls from the table.

Of course, with a two year old at the table, some food does stray from its original destination. Anything that drops from the table rarely reaches the floor but is snapped up with the ferocity of a shark attack. As Jesus said, it’s not right to give the dogs food prepared for the children, but these dogs certainly do eat the crumbs and more that fall from this table. I’m just glad that these dogs have been trained not to eat what’s on the table. I suppose there is some value in having these living vacuum cleaners under foot; it’s just a pity they are selective in what they suck up.

But they receive a life of love—and it’s a dog’s life. Food, water, a bed to sleep in all provided for the pleasure of having them feign adoration. They are quick to give clear signals if they don’t get what they want and could be very persuasive if they didn’t know—or pretend to know—who the boss is. After all, they know which side their bread is buttered, although most dogs I know eat better than that. I have to agree dogs are intelligent—perhaps more than we give credit for. Spending time with dogs makes it clear that dogs are not a man’s best friend, but men are a dog’s best friend.

As I have noted earlier, I like dogs—as long as they belong to other people. But unlike them, I am not taken in by a dog’s eyes or tail. To believe otherwise is a bit like believing in God: good for you if it brings you comfort! At least that’s what some think who don’t really know the truth about dogs and God. For some of us, God is the source for living a life of love. And for many, dogs are clearly a step along that road.

As I recover from my obvious addiction to my family’s dogs, and Ann and I travel to England, it may be a few days before we are hooked up to the internet again, so expect some gaps in my diary writing. Be in touch again soon.

Saturday December 27, 2008

You are the light of the world. Matt 5:14

Jesus is speaking to his disciples, calling them the light of the world. Strange, because in John’s gospel, Jesus claims that he is the light of the world, 8:12 and 9:5. This can only be explained by assuming that his disciples understood who he was and so reflected his light. What is light in this context? God is the source of the natural light that we see by, and to be separated from him is to be in perpetual blackness, a characteristic of hell. But here light also is a symbol of truth, which Jesus also claimed to be—the way, the life and the truth.

This is contrary to the way Jesus is perceived by western populations in general. He is considered to be one of a smorgasbord of competing ideas all claiming to be the truth, often perceived to be a variety of superstitions that bring a measure of comfort to those foolish enough to believe them. This makes Jesus out to be a fool or mentally deranged for believing his own message, or a charlatan trying to con those ignorant enough to be taken in by him. Not that he gained much from his perceived deception; crucifixion on a Roman cross was not much of a prize!

The problem is that if one belief is the truth, much of another claim to truth is not. The current pressure for tolerance is a thinly veiled coercion for compromise. Christians have no problem with the first, but balk at the second. If, as we believe, Jesus is God come to earth to reveal himself to humankind, then Jesus is the light of the world, the basic truth of the universe that we ignore or reject at our peril. But to receive him is entry into an understanding of life—the light of the world—not to be found anywhere else.

Friday December 26, 2008

They saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Matt 2:11

The remarkable thing about the kings from the east was their acceptance of Jesus as greater than themselves in spite of the humble surroundings in which they found him. No longer a new born in a stable, but now an infant in “the house” where “they saw the child.” There they “worshiped him.” Jesus also received worship later on from the blind man he had healed (John 9:38), although others including angels refused worship (Rev. 19:9–10) in accordance with the first commandment: “You shall have no other gods before me.”

Worship is our most difficult act, for in doing so we forfeit our independence and acknowledge our dependence on God. Perhaps this is why we tend to turn to him in times of extremity—our resources are exhausted and we have nowhere else to turn. I’m sure God sometimes allows adversity into our lives to get our attention. I’m forever grateful that God entered the mutual life of Ann and myself in the good times, and stayed with us though our lifetime to the present. Then when sickness strikes, as it has, we know we are already in his hands having experienced his continuing presence. We know we can face the future with confidence.

It is especially at this Christmas season, the celebration of Jesus’ appearance as a baby on earth, that Jesus comes to us all again seeking the worship from us he received from the eastern kings. Looking back on a lifetime of his love and guidance, it is easy to worship him. And now, facing a New Year of some uncertainty, but with assurance of His continued care for us, it is still easy to worship him. In fact, life takes its meaning, colour, depth and sense of destiny in our lifetime experience of his omnipotent greatness and immeasurable love. Worship is our natural response.

CHRISTMAS 2008

As we celebrate this Christmas season, I want to share with you something my good friend and fellow writer Laura-Lee Rahn has penned. She has a knack of hitting the nail on the head. Here is her offering for you this season.
Thanks Laura-Lee.
Bryan

As time goes by the debate over the "true" meaning of Christmas intensifies. Some wish to make Santa the center of the holiday while others wish to re-instate Jesus as the center of the celebrations, as he has been since his birth all those centuries ago.
As usual, I have decided to step right into the center of the ruckus and compare these two iconic figures side by side. I will state the case for Santa but will allow Jesus to answer for himself.
So in the hopes that this will encourage you and perhaps give you something to think about this Christmas, I present:

SANTA vs JESUS

# 1) Santa comes to you only as long as you believe in him.

As God has said: ' I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' (2 Corinthians 6:16)

# 2) Santa sneaks into your home, even if the doors and windows are locked.

"I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in . . ."(Revelation 3:20)

# 3) Santa gives gifts on the basis of being "Naughty or Nice".

But God demonstates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)

# 4) Santa gives special treatment to the rich. The richer you are, the better the gifts you get.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise (Galatians 3: 28-29)

# 5) When Christmas is over, he splits.

". . . the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

# 6) Santa stays at the North Pole 364 days a year.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." (Psalm 139:7-10)

# 7) Santa isn't acquainted with pain and hard times.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. (Isaiah 53:3)

# 8) Three little words: LUMP - OF - COAL!

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?" (Matthew 7:9-11)

# 9) Santa travels through the sky by sleigh and reindeer.

They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky with power and great glory. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. (Matthew 24:30, 27)

# 10) Santa has only existed for a few hundred years. (In some countries, he doesn't exist at all).

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. (John 1:1)
He said to me: 'It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.’ (Revelation 21:6)

Tuesday December 23, 2008

He will be the sure foundation for your times, Isa 33:6.

During this time of economic downturn, I think everyone would like to know where the bottom is. Somewhere down there, there must be a bottom, a foundation that is secure. In actual fact, the only final assurance is the prayer that God would “give us this day our daily bread,” a catch word for the basic necessities of life. The One who used birds to feed Elijah, fed the widow from a bottomless jug of oil, and fed 5000 with a boy’s meagre lunch can surely see us who trust him through this time also.

But all this does not preclude us from being prepared for the difficult times. There are always those things we can do and should do if we are to be responsible. But there frequently comes a point where we can do no more, and it is in these circumstances we have no choice but to rely on God for his strength and provision. He is the only sure foundation for life.

But what can we do to prepare for illness? Lifestyle can have a great effect on our state of health, and Ann does her best to make sure I eat sensibly. Someone has written to us asking about my “diet.” Is it a sickness imposed regime or simply healthy eating? For a chocolate addict and sweet tooth like mine there is a clear route to follow, for sugar feeds cancer; hence the cottage cheese—now gratefully laced with fruit!—and flaxseed oil. My previous diet of bread loaded with jam, ice cream, cookies, chocolate chip muffins . . .—you get the idea—now severely curtailed.

Here’s my food philosophy. We live in a hostile environment—enough pollution around to poison a horse—and our food is increasingly deficient in nutrients, prepared foods loaded with risky additives. No wonder our bodies are ill–prepared for viral, bacterial and other onslaughts against them! Perhaps the spiritual battles humankind faces have their counterpart in those unseen pests that invade our bodies. Unfortunately, this knowledge doesn’t reduce my desire for chocolate or occasional adventures down the cookie aisle or around the fancy cake stands. Temptation comes in many guises.

Sunday December 21, 2008

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16-17.

The controversial nature of this text is not its claim, but the attitude we bring to it. If we feel we have not received sufficient blessings in this life, we will disagree with it. On the other hand, our sense that we are very fortunate will find hearty agreement with its assertion. We are all aware of the apparent contradiction of some who are content with little and others who have much but are never satisfied. And it’s not necessarily that the former are simply acquiescent and the latter are ambitious—neither of those attitudes are necessarily good or bad—but whether we have an ongoing contentment with what life has handed us.

At our present stage of life—now in our seventies and with my souvenir from life (PC)—what is the balance of blessing compared with its opposite? Probably about 100 to 1 in favour of the blessings received “from the fullness of his grace.” Of course, we live in a very stable and prosperous part of the world, so we benefit from that, as opposed to those who live in poverty stricken lands. Are they exempt from this grace?

Not at all. Many who live in poverty and under persecution also find comfort and contentment from their faith in Christ Jesus. As Paul said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Phil 4:11-12). But for me personally, I still have to answer the question: would I be content or complaining if my situation became serious? Have I really learnt that lesson? Only time will tell.

Saturday December 20, 2008

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16.

Well, here’s a downer for this weekend. Perhaps my sickness is a result of my sins against others. I’m sure that there are some people that I have hurt that I’m unaware of, but as Ann is fond of saying, we try to keep short accounts with sin and dirt. If anyone out there is listening and has a complaint against me I am only too willing to confess it, especially if it means I can dump this disease! However, even if this sickness is not a result of my thoughtlessness, I’m still ready for a trek to the confessional.

But now a grandson story. Luciano is almost two and is developing a vocabulary including a slow calamitous sounding “oh no” when something goes wrong. Yesterday, four of us were minding him—which means none of us was really sure what he was up to—until an “oh no” came from the dining room. There he was seated on the table having poured himself a generous portion—the whole jug—of orange juice into nothing in particular. It was running in all directions across the table and fanning out to all points of the compass across the floor.

Naturally, there was a suitable commotion, swishing and swiffering for the next ten minutes or so until the mess was cleaned up and only a residual stickiness remained. But during the clean up, Luciano again appeared, slipped on the wet floor and the back of his head met the floor. In a fine example of poetic justice, he was miserable for about the same length of time it took to clean up. Here’s one case of physical trauma that could probably have been healed with a little confession!

Friday December 19, 2008

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Ps 143:8.

The weather in Montreal is not much better than what we left behind in Lethbridge: cold weather and snow. But who cares about the weather when visiting family over Christmas—it’s mostly indoor activities and enjoyment of being with one another. Mind you, there are the dogs; I like dogs but I’m not a dog lover. With the two Alex and Gino have and the two from the adjoining suite often all together I find myself wading thigh deep through a sea of dogs on occasion. But it all comes with the family package!

There are other benefits to being here. On our visit to the supermarket I discovered fruit filled cottage cheese. Perhaps the beginning of a revolution, rather like fruit filled yogurt! And I discovered they are great on pancakes. I also have some time to complete editing of our book, hopefully to be published in the spring, plus there are always jobs to be done around the kids’ house—most parents of adult children can relate to that.

But the future still calls. Not just the time we spend here in Montreal, but the two months managing the mission guest house in England, and the pleasure of meeting our daughters and a couple of grandchildren while there to explore our old haunts. Then of course, there is the impending surgery unless the Lord intervenes in the meantime. Surgery, with its attendant risks, always makes us more aware of our mortality, and affects both Ann and myself in our concern for each other. That is why, for us, the above text is so appropriate, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Wednesday December 17, 2008

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Cor. 9:7.

As I look at the last two days readings, it seems the editor of these texts doesn’t think we give adequately and needs to address this issue. Not that we don’t give, but it may too often be with a sense of obligation, even resentment, rather than generosity. Surely the recipient should be glad that we gave, and not also require that our motives, like travel luggage, should be x-rayed as well. After all, the fact that we don’t feel like giving doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t want to give. Feelings and desires may not always coincide.

On the other side, we may want to give but not be able to. How often have we heard “It’s the thought that counts,” suggesting that wanting to give is sufficient even if we don’t! Especially the things we really want to give: health, wealth and happiness—assuming wealth and happiness are compatible—are usually beyond our ability to provide. That’s part of the reason we pray; we really want these things for those we care about, but only God can ensure them.

I pray for those I care about, and I assume the fervency of my prayers indicate the depth of desire for them. But on occasion, my lack of passion may suggest that I don’t really care; I only feel obligated. But as I suggested at the head of this blog, feeling is an unreliable variable. Please don’t look too closely at my inner feelings and thoughts, they probably don’t reflect my real desire—if they did there would probably be times I wouldn’t pray at all.

So many of you have indicated you are praying for me, and I believe that it is out of a genuine desire for that gift of health for me, and I really appreciate your prayers at whatever level! I’m sure my ability to fulfill the tasks I want to do and my confident spirit are the result of your prayers.

Thank you.

Tuesday December 16, 2008

The Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Acts 20:35.

It’s been a few days since I last entered any news here, mainly due to the mounting pressure to complete all the tasks necessary for a protracted absence from home. The ease of travel ensures that we are able to spend Christmas in Montreal and the New Year in England. None of us are angels, but we can all fly and act like them, dropping in like some lofty seraphs on those we care to grace with our presence. However, I doubt the average angel has his belongings x-rayed or is required to walk through metal detectors before he can fly.

This year, if it is more blessed to give than receive, we must be in for a ton of blessing as we give ourselves in person to so many of our friends and family—hopefully this “giving” is not seen as an imposition by the recipients of our beneficence. Actually, we are blessed by the joy with which we are greeted, and the equal joy we have of being with them. And if Christmas is a time to be with those we love the most, we are God’s spoilt ones, particularly as we think of those whose greatest joy is marred by family conflict.

I feel the most blessed to be able to carry out this journey again this year in spite of my current illness and looming surgery. I have great gratitude for an active procrastination that is able to place the unpleasant on the back burner—except for an occasional sudden reminder and quick kick in the stomach from left field (so that’s where the back burner is). Today, we are able to enjoy the company of our youngest daughter, her husband and their two year old Thomas addict. Ask any parent of boys who Thomas is! We’ll stay earthbound with them through Christmas before we take to the skies again.

Saturday December 13, 2008

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, John 1:10-12.

Going away is a bit like moving. We have to move toward a deadline, making sure everything is packed ready to go. When we are moving there is a slow panic build-up until moving day—hope the weather co-operates; will everything get on the truck; don’t forget the plants outside—until the moment everything is inside the new place. The place may be a mess, but we can shut the door and breathe a sigh of relief.

Flying is a bit like that—especially for a three month absence. I’m feeling the panic more than previously. Perhaps it’s age catching up, or a subconscious reaction knowing that creature crouching at the door: surgery when we return from England in mid–March. Either way, I’m looking forward to getting seated on the plane knowing that it’s too late “remember” anything else and the panic is over.

I doubt the Son of God had the same panic before his trip into time and onto the earth. There’s one person who must have been organised well ahead. But his journey, unlike ours, was not to some joyful reunions. We will meet up with many family and friends that will be glad to see us. Not so our Creator, who was spurned by his own creation. He looked forward to the pain of rejection and the violence of the cross—no vacation trip for him!

Tragically, he still suffers the same rejection from those who would rather face death on their own.

Friday December 12, 2008

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" Luke 1:45

One little boy’s definition of faith was “believing in something that isn’t true!” Often the adult idea of faith is simply a lever to hope for something that may never happen. Biblical faith is trusting in the truth when there may be no scientific evidence to prove it. This is the experience of millions who believe in the presence of God in daily life even when circumstances seem against its likelihood. In Mary’s case, the most unlikely promise of all history was that she would be the mother of the incarnate God. But it was her firm belief in God’s promise that brought the joy and blessing of God into her life.

One renowned Bible scholar told the story of his son going to the clinic for a vaccination shot. The boy was fearful of the shot and clung tightly to his father who was carrying him to the dreaded needle. His trust in his father to take him through was greater than the fear of the shot. This is a simple picture of the Christian who trusts implicitly in God especially though times of adversity—it is at these times when we cling tighter to God.

The snow is beginning to fall outside. We are warned of blizzard conditions tonight and tomorrow morning. What comfort a warm home, protected from the weather, is when facing the storm. It is a clear reminder that not all of life will be fair weather, and we may not be so easily protected from the storms that may assail us. Although there are social services that provide some relief, in the end we will not find the final solution around us, but only in the assurance of God’s presence with us in the storm.

Thursday December 11, 2008

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19.

The turn of events that first Christmas was certainly something to be pondered. Mary’s reaction reflects our response when things we do not fully understand circulate in our minds. We try to find an answer or at least a meaning in unexpected events that befall us. But it is more than a thought process; as Mary illustrated, it envelops our whole being: heart, mind and spirit. Do our emotions lead our thoughts, and if they do is it helpful? Are our attitudes and actions compromised by emotional reactions?

I have been greatly encouraged by the prayers and positive thoughts that many of you have sent me. There is no doubt that some fight disease while others seem resigned to it. There is some evidence that an energetic response to disease is reflected in activity of the “pacmen” whose work is to gobble up foreign bodies in the human system. Some exercise that gets the heartbeat and breathing revved up doesn’t hurt either. Yep, I climbed all those stairs again today!

Tomorrow’s weather forecast is for blizzard conditions for 24 hours or so. A chance to get caught up on the packing necessary for Monday’s flight to Montreal. Ann and I are thankful for this Christmas with our daughter and family in Montreal before continuing to England. We are thankful for every day he gives, whether in sickness or in health, us as we move into the latter years of our lives. Our relationship to God remains the same as our commitment to each other—for better or for worse! We will be there for each other as we know God, too, is with us all the way. What more encouragement do we need to maintain a positive outlook?

Wednesday December 10, 2008

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about," Luke 2:15

Oops, Wednesday already and Tuesday’s blog not done! Well, I guess that’s the way it’s going to be for the next while. We leave for Montreal next Monday on the first leg to England for January and February. This week is crowded touching base with numerous people and ensuring everything is in order before we leave. Always something else to be done—including this blog! Then again, there’s not much to tell you about the reason for these blogs—the progress or otherwise of my prostate cancer. It’s pretty much on hold until late March after we return from England.

But the progress of the disease—very slow moving—can probably be slowed even more by a careful diet—remember the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil--and exercise. With regard to the former, it’s really not that bad, I find can eat it by the spoonful if necessary! But in regard to exercise, the shepherds had it over us. Wherever they were minding their sheep they had quite a hike into Bethlehem. No cars or bicycles and I doubt any of the sheep would be willing to play donkey! I really don’t have to hike anywhere, and it’s an added chore for the day to take time for walking, particularly in the Canadian winter.

But, of course, Ann as usual has an answer: walk in the university. Built into the side of a coulee, it not only has long corridors, it has many flights of stairs linking the various buildings—a good half-hour workout first thing in the morning. Well, I must say that it gets the blood flowing which should translate into fresh thinking and more interesting writing. You will be the judge of that! Hits on the blogsite show many of you interested in our ramblings, but be prepared for some gaps as we begin our travels.

Monday December 8, 2008

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests," Luke 2:13-14.

Ah, peace on earth: surely a pathetic wish by a naive few that refuse to accept the verdict of history: conflict and horror in Sudan and Congo, murderous attacks in Mumbai and ferocious rioting in Greece all combine with the record of mankind from his beginnings underlining the total elusiveness of peace. Thank God the attacks of political parties against each other in Ottawa have not degenerated beyond words—although words can veil a more sinister desire—and a brittle alliance of ideological enemies can barely hide their self seeking agendas.

Paul reminds us that those have been justified through faith have peace with God through Jesus Christ. When we have that peace we can have peace with ourselves that in turn fosters peace with others. But a recent correspondent after a term in politics wrote: “As one who has experienced both sides of this [discussion of the recent political upheaval] I would hasten to add that during the time when I served 8 years as an elected politician I never had to deal with the ‘politics’ in that system that I have encountered in the church.” If peace cannot be found here, where is it to be found?

You may be wondering what has this to do with the diary of my journey towards an operating theatre. It has me wondering too. Yet some thought reveals that there are those working tirelessly to oppose the destructive elements of society in many unobserved ways. And that includes our conscientious health professionals whether fighting disease or patching up victims of violence. Peace is not simply eradication of warfare; it is a spiritual victory against sin and its partners disease, decay and death.

I’m glad of the professionals that are committed to ending the battle for supremacy against the intruders in my body! Perhaps it is the myriad of individuals who have found peace with God in body, mind and spirit that is the final evidence of the peace Jesus came to bring.

Sunday December 7, 2008

[Joseph] went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, Luke 2:5-6.

I guess it was inevitable that our devotional guide would eventually get to Christmas, and I note that the coming days are filled with similar reminders. Naturally, this text is meant to remind us of the unmatched gift of God’s Son to the world that first Christmas. But it is fitting that it also carries a reminder of the pain of life as well. The baby was conceived out of wedlock—small potatoes these days, but carrying an enormous stigma in the Jewish culture of the day. The pain that this baby was to bear for our sin was already being reflected, not only in Mary’s pain of childbirth, but also in the ostracism that she would have received from most people around her.

By the age that Ann and I are now, few escape without pain of some sort. And that pain, whether caused by the degrading of relationships or decay of our bodies, has the curse of sin and death as its source. Knowing this, the Christian shouldn’t be the one who questions “why me” when it occurs—in fact, quite the reverse: asking “why me” when we escape without pain? It should be a source of continuing gratitude if we are blessed sufficiently to go through life without that experience.

Our mental well-being depends on how we react to the difficulties of life. If we recognize that adversity will almost certainly find us at some point in life, the better prepared we will be to face it and the less it will disrupt or lives and those around us. But of inestimable value for confronting the barbs of life is the knowledge that our lives are in God’s hands. Then, not only is there a meaning to life as a whole, but our suffering is not meaningless and he will bring us through it. However long it may seem, this life is temporary, our future with him is not.

Saturday December 6, 2008

But as for me, it is good to be near God, Ps. 73:28.

We spent some time today watching Ben Stein’s film Expelled. It details systemic discrimination in the American academic community against the idea of Intelligent Design. One of Ben’s interviews is with Richard Dawkins, the British author of The God Delusion. He, in common with most in the American academic establishment, believes that religion is fantasy or superstition that is helpful to people like me who find comfort in a belief in God. He holds that the “overwhelming proof” of evolution proves the Old Testament God is a myth as any intelligent person must come to acknowledge.

Dawkins denial of God is a belief system, equal to belief in God. After all, the absence of proof of God is not proof of his absence. But the belief or non-belief in God has far reaching effects on our understanding of the world, the sacredness of human life and eventually on the meaning of life itself. Yet we all have a sense of destiny, more than crass animal life and death. Most chilling is the idea that once God is dispensed with, man is his own master and he can control who lives and dies. Whether it’s abortion or euthanasia or the extermination camps of Hitler’s regime, it all starts the same way—survival of the fittest.

If I look inside myself, I sometimes feel that I don’t deserve to live. It is only the knowledge that there is a God of forgiveness beyond me that makes life not only worthwhile, but a joy to live. The awareness that God cares whether I live or die makes me determined to fight sickness with whatever tools are available, for life is worth living and has meaning beyond itself because God exists. That’s why I find “it is good to be near God” in health or sickness every day.

Friday December 5, 2008

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone, Ps. 91:11-12.

This text certainly reflects the way I feel today. It may seem strange that, anticipating some uncomfortable surgery, I would feel excited at the results obtained yesterday—so much so that I had difficulty sleeping last night and spent some time around 3.00 a.m. at my computer! Even the infection that started this whole affair was a blessing in disguise, warning me of the dirty little secret my body was hiding from me. I guess I can’t blame my body, cancer, like sin, tries to remain incognito until it has a good hold.

I reflect sometimes on my emotional response to this threat. I surprise myself at the matter-of-fact way that I have responded. Shouldn’t I feel some anger, fear or at least be depressed? Or am I fooling myself, hiding this all away in some remote dungeon of my subconscious where it is waiting to surface and explode? Or is this part of the “cold fish” temperament that Ann suggests I have? Perhaps it’s not wise to delve too deeply; I am only too happy to be who I seem to be in this situation!

Our text today again helps with an answer. Circumstances are such that I have confidence; not only in God but in the people he has placed in the trauma I’ll soon undergo. The urologist, who will be performing my probable surgery, is a younger man with only six years in the profession. But a good friend of ours is an OR nurse in Lethbridge, not only with many years working with the top surgeons in Calgary, but also working with this surgeon regularly. When I asked her for an opinion on his surgical work —and she is a particularly candid sort—her reply was an unequivocal “100%.”

As some of you have said, God is sooo good.

Thursday December 4, 2008

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, Gal. 5:22-23.

Well. What a day. My emotions today regarding my health have run the same gamut as the upheaval over our Canadian constitutional crisis. Yesterday’s blog indicated the problem I was having getting through to the urologist's office to confirm today’s appointment. After some false starts I did eventually get through and no appointment had been set up! Kendra, his secretary indicated that he was in surgery all morning and booked all afternoon. Nor had she received the reports of my scans. She would check with him when he returned to the office at 1.00 p.m. At the same time I was watching the doors of Rideau Hall on TV with the same uncertainty to find out if the GG had agreed to prorogue parliament.

About 10 a.m. Kendra phoned to say the she had a cancellation and could I be there at 2.30 pm? She had also phoned the hospital and obtained my results. Ann was in an exam at that time, but I would be there. The doctor indicated that both the biopsy and my PSA level showed my cancer to be a medium risk and very slow moving. Further, the scans showed the cancer to be contained within the prostate. We discussed the options for surgery and radiation, with a waiting time of two months for surgery, and at least a month for an interview regarding radiation. He suggested that we make a decision before going to England so that procedures could be set up on our return in mid March.

So, like the morning at Rideau Hall, it’s all over bar the shouting! We will come to a decision regarding treatment this weekend and the urologist will arrange for things to be underway on our return. Nice neat package—at least ‘til then! Thanks again to all of you who thought and/or prayed for us. Your thoughts and prayers played an important part in assuring a manageable outcome and keeping our trip to England intact. Now, like the government and the opposition here in Canada, the next stage is strategy. But at least our decision will be infused with love, joy, peace, patience . . . . .

Wednesday December 3, 2008

He who has been forgiven little loves little, Luke 7:47

Today, as expected yesterday, has been a quieter day, but not without its anticipation of tomorrow. I must admit to waking in the night and wondering about the possibilities ahead of me. Perhaps it’s not wise to know too much in these circumstances as the various scenarios can lead to disquiet. Further, because of telephone company “network difficulties,” my doctor has been unavailable and no appointment has been set for tomorrow—a little more uncertainty to test the quietness. Even the text at the head of this blog doesn’t add much comfort at first sight.

Yet forgiveness is the first step to revived relationship. And forgiveness to be received requires an awareness of personal failure. This is true for personal relationships but particularly awareness of the depth to which we have failed God in our disinterest or even outright rejection of him and following a path away from him. In a corollary to our text today, the deeper our sense of sin, the greater is our sense of forgiveness and love for him who forgave us. This is the basis of the most meaningful relationship that earth and heaven afford us. It is on the certainty of this relationship that I have confidence in God’s overarching care and direction for my life and those affected by it.

In the meantime Ann has finished her classes at the university, and preparing for her two last exams. This term has seen her gaining most marks in the high 90s, a great boost to her confidence in her ability to finish her degree with an excellent GPA. Now she is going to be checking my stuff instead of vice versa! We continue to pray that tomorrow may provide us with some resolution to the uncertainty for the future that hangs over us. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday December 2, 2008

One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty, Prov. 11:24.

I was struck today by three crises happening simultaneously. We are all aware of the financial crisis, and now the constitutional crisis in Ottawa. As if in sympathy, my body is also going through its own constitutional crisis about who is in charge. Both the first two reflect the second clause in the above text—caused by financial greed or lust for power, and clearly doubt the first! Is there a parallel in my personal story? Growing common wisdom suggests that I may have been niggardly in supplying my body with sufficient nutrients to fight disease—I prefer to feed it my poor taste. Hence now the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil!

Certainly if we treat our God given bodies right we will “gain even more.” But disease is not a simple cause and effect or we would all be held responsible for the illnesses we encounter. I’m certainly grateful for our much maligned health system, and today’s experience increased my opinion of it. Despite having to swallow pints of dye, feeling like a pin cushion and wondering if I was joining the junkie fraternity, the efficiency of the process and friendliness of the staff made it almost a pleasant experience to visit the hospital. I was impressed by the large robotic scanning machines providing pictures that pinpoint disease and vastly improve diagnosis. Some health system bucks well spent and working.

Hospital efficiency also dovetailed my day nicely. Go to the hospital at 9, stay to drink pints of a dye cocktail, swallow powder to blow my belly up, a jab and some rides though Stargate, another jab of dye for the bones and a two hour break. Time enough to go home for lunch—no breakfast today—and take Ann to university. Then back for another ride (very) close up and personal to the scanning cameras—even time to snooze for the half hour while the robots performed. Then back to pick Ann up from university and home in time for supper.
Tomorrow should be easier!

Monday December 1, 2008

Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed, Job 14:5

Well, if I wanted prompting that my days are numbered, this is it! It is a tart reminder that I am limited to my time on earth, something I think about the older I get and brought into sharper focus by sickness. I have already passed my allotted three score and ten years, and am now borrowing from someone less fortunate who didn’t make that number. However, I don’t think this quote means that my personal days are determined without any action on my part, but rather that humankind generally is limited to time on earth. Death is an equal opportunity employer; we all eventually receive the same wage.

For me, death is simply another deadline to be met, with certain things that I want to do or must do to be done by then. It’s a bit like changing my life from an architect to a pastor. A deadline for architectural work could often be extended, but as a pastor, Sunday came whether I was ready or not! Time management was essential for that and for life as a whole. Is my life going to produce “wood, hay and stubble” or something worthwhile? That is in my hands.

So which about the future bothers me the most: my disease or tomorrows scans and their outcome? Actually, I’m bothered the most by the ridiculous farce being played out in Ottawa; a bunch of hooligans scuffling for power, upsetting the business of the country on the pretext of putting it right! Whatever the outcome it increases the uncertainty and pain the country is already suffering. Perhaps the most amusing thing—if that’s possible—is the dead seriousness with which they tackle plunging us all into disarray.

But the scans will go on tomorrow regardless, and I look forward to a visit to the doctor on Thursday for results and a meaningful course of treatment. One way or another life will go on for a time yet and I plan for it to be meaningful for our time now and for eternity. They are both to be joyfully anticipated.

Sunday November 30, 2008

From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it, Matt. 11:12

Hmmm. Here’s a text that is desperately liable to misinterpretation. Take over the world by force? Is this God’s tough love? Perhaps the crusades were not out of line after all! Maybe Richard Dawkins is right that religion is the primary cause of war. Forceful men, no less, are taking hold of it. But force can describe a number of attitudes besides violence. Just being determined in any legitimate endeavour is a kind of force. Maintaining one’s faith against opposition or in adversity requires a forceful spirit. And the Kingdom of Jesus Christ will advance without violence or warfare for “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight,” John 18:36.

And I am going to require a certain kind of force if I am to maintain some change in my diet. Remember the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil? Breakfast meant cereal with milk and yoghurt, to which I added both the unmentionables. Couldn’t taste either. Maybe it won’t be so bad if I can camouflage the less tasty offerings. Not that I am averse to the change, but it is surely an acquired taste. Is this change a cancer killing operation? We’ll find out, but a healthier intake certainly won’t do any harm! Let’s see if I can remember the principles: Less omega 6, more omega 3, cut white: bread, rice, flour, sugar . . . Oh! And it’s time to add flaxseed oil to cattle feedlot diets too! After all, how can I avoid fatty acids if the steer I eat consumes it?

But as I said yesterday, we had a joyful family time, great food and greater company. Today they left this morning, not without a touch of sadness in my heart. The house felt empty when they had gone. But seeing the paraphernalia they brought to ensure a secure and happy baby, we were so appreciative of the effort they made to be with us. And happy baby she was, living up expectations of our title of Adorable Norah. So the day was one of cleaning up, recovery and some quiet time of required reading for the cancer war—thanks to the forceful encouragement of my womenfolk.

Saturday November 29, 2008

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time, 1 Peter 5:6-7

It seems the waiting game is God’s way to help us into humility. I recall the story of the lady who told her pastor she needed patience. Her pastor began praying for all sorts of calamities to befall her until she told him to stop. “Tribulation worketh patience” (Rom. 5:3) he responded, quoting the King James Bible that she knew so well. If we are to attain that peaceable spirit that most of us long for, being able to wait is often part of the process.

Besides, waiting is the opportunity for God to speak to us. There is so much of the mundane in life that gives us time to think—providing we turn the ipod off! Driving, walking, household chores and waiting rooms are time given to us for considering the important things in life, and waiting for tests and results for health concerns can certainly give us a sense of real priorities.

As I mentioned yesterday, some of our grandchildren are with us this weekend, coming because they felt the need to visit with us during this uncertain time. And what a joy this is. Lee joined Dan and his wife Joelle, their one year old adorable Norah, for a delightful family time. Karen, our daughter (not Lee and Dan’s mother!), husband Al, his mom and their son Dustin also came for a great family supper. Later we relived some shared memories by slide show of Dan and Jo’s marriage four years ago. We are overwhelmed by God’s goodness in the family he has given us. If we have to wait, what better way to do so?

This all makes us aware of those with broken families or rebellious children who miss this togetherness and the heartache it brings. Pain comes in all sorts of clothes, and broken families and broken health are all part of the landscape of life. But I find it harder to be despondent about my difficulties when we receive so much of God’s bounty elsewhere. The two are just not comparable!

Friday November 28, 2008

If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself, 2 Tim 2:13

I guess its through times of difficulty that our faith is tested. Are we going to run to him for comfort and shelter, or away from him because we feel he has apparently deserted us at a critical time. This latter idea is driven by the notion that as Christians we should be able to avoid trouble because God should preserve us from it. Of course it doesn’t take much thought to realize both from the Word and from history that suffering is part of the Christian’s lot.

Today’s text reminds us that whatever our perception, God remains faithful, he cannot deny his true nature. We are blessed with a great family that understand this and uphold us in prayer. This evening some of our grandchildren will be coming for the weekend just to be with us. Canadian distances are so great that time and distance make these get-togethers all too few. We appreciate their special effort to visit with us before we depart for England in less than three weeks time.

Thus today has been a busy one, preparing for them and our home group meeting here tonight. It has also been somewhat run-of-the-mill; Ann at university while I continue writing to meet some self-imposed deadlines. I really don’t think much about my condition because I’m busy. Time enough for that when the scan results are in and the doctor has outlined what options we may have. In the meantime life goes on and some setback is no excuse to abandon it.

All my life I’ve been seeking a nice comfortable rut to live in. Where is that simple daily routine that doesn’t change and everything is predictable? I suppose there are some that have found it, but for us life has been an ever-changing panorama that draws energy and excitement for the challenges ahead. While we may sometimes seek a restful break, the continual newness of life keeps the anticipation alive. I sense this turn in the road will have a similar impact. It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good. We gladly anticipate the benefits to be found in this new future together.

What Happened Before

I have been very thankful to God for my 72 years of good health and also for my wife Ann now 71. So to be faced with prostate cancer is the first major health challenge we have faced in nearly 54 years of marriage. But this was not totally unexpected—why should we not share in the ravages of this life that so many others experience. Or as Job said, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? Job 2:10.

It all started with an acute bladder infection on October 8th 2008 which took me to the local hospital for an aggressive antibiotic cure, but which left me less than jovial for a few days. There had been no indication of disease before that, but a high PSA (prostate specific antigen) count prompted a trip to the urologist. His examination found a lump on my prostate and he felt that a biopsy would be advisable. As the diary will show, the biopsy was positive for cancer.

What were my feelings during this period? Up to the biopsy, life continued much the same as before, Ann attending university nearing the end of her Political Science degree, and I continued writing. I felt quite healthy and had no qualms about the future. Even the two weeks awaiting the biopsy results raised no worries, only an occasional wondering about the outcome. Our plans for a short term mission trip to England in January and February 2009 were still a go unless some urgent response was necessary.

I had generally believed that we live in a polluted and hostile environment, and at the same time lacked sufficient nutrients in our food to combat its assault. I had generally taken steps to alleviate this risk, but obviously had been too general about it! Fortunately I have women around me with sufficient savvy about this process to ensure I correct my general attitudes and get more serious about combating this disease.

This diary, related our latest concerns is also an answer to prayer. With two books complete and the first at the editing stage prior to production, I was wondering where to go next. So I am planning to put this diary on a blogsite for those interested in keeping up to date with our antics over the next few weeks (months?). Some will be able to join us in this journey and maybe find some help from it. Of course, blogs do not have to be a finished “work of art”—just let it all hang out!

Whatever the outcome, our years of trusting God for his overshadowing through earlier trials of life had prepared us for an assurance of security in his hands. As our friends from England, Meg and Dave quoted to us: “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms, Deut. 33:27.


Tuesday November 25, 2008-11-26.

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Ps 103:1

Today I had an appointment with Dr. Levans the urologist for results of my biopsy. He told Ann and me that the test was positive for prostate cancer, and my PSA level was high enough that in his experience the cancer may have spread outside the prostate. If so it would be found in the lymph glands at the base of the abdomen and/or in the bones. If this was the case, he would recommend a hormone treatment that suppressed testosterone in the body. I’ll leave you to guess the effect on our sex life! Apparently testosterone is prostate cancer’s favourite food.

This treatment would require injections every three months. Of course, this all depends on the scan results, and my concern is our plans to leave for Montreal and England on December 15, less than three weeks away. Dr. Levans is a younger man—I think he shaves his head and grew a beard to look older—but well respected, and is most straightforward and helpful. He even phoned the hospital this afternoon to try to advance the dates for the scans so if necessary I could receive the first injection before we left. Thanks a lot!

Although I felt it was all a false alarm, I was prepared for either answer. I had no emotional reaction, more concerned with treatment and our immediate plans. Ann wept a little—I couldn’t ask for a more supportive and compassionate wife, even if she thinks I’m a cold fish because of my unemotional reactions! But whatever the outcome we will walk through this together a day at a time, after all life continues much as before; all that has changed is how we handle it. We know that God has us in his hands, what more could we ask?

Arriving home, our first task was to inform family and friends—thank heaven for email! A circular letter to our many friends, and individual letters to our family—three daughters and husbands, seven grandchildren, two married, and a great granddaughter. By day’s end we had many messages returned with sympathy and support—almost all committed to pray for us.Our daughter Karen who lives locally, came to visit us this afternoon, bearing gifts—cottage cheese, pomegranate juice and flax oil to name a few! A tangy reminder that my diet needed to change.

She holds that our immune system can be reinforced and respond to cancer if four things happen. First, we need to ensure a fully nutritious diet—no more wandering the aisles of the supermarket, stick to the outer circumference! Secondly clean up our local environment. Fortunately none of us smoke and Ann ensures the dirt I can’t see no one else will see either. Next, it is important to maintain a positive attitude; to fight these audacious intruders not resign ourselves to their advance. Lastly, plenty of exercise, for me usually a distraction from vegging in front of my computer. Both Ann and Karen are solidly behind my transformation to this new regime and if I’m honest I’m glad of it.

We have a good friend Sue who is an OR nurse. She came to visit us that evening, offering us any advice or even to contact specialists that she worked with over the years to answer any questions we may have. She prayed fervently for us before leaving. With support from people like Karen and Sue the future looks better already!


Wednesday November 26, 2008

For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. Eph 1:15-17

These Scriptures at the head of each day’s ramblings are from a daily devotional, and often translate into meaningful comments on the day’s activities. We are so thankful for the family that God has given us, and so many friends and acquaintances that have indicated they would pray for us during this uncertain time.

Today started a 2.00 a.m. I sometimes do my best thinking in the middle of the night when my mind has done its filing from the day before, and is not cluttered from the day ahead. Some people worry when they wake in the night and can’t return to sleep. For me it’s a great time to enjoy a cosy lay-in without pressure to get up! Thinking on what Karen and Ann had said the day before, I am now ready to fight these pesky parasites, and some changes in lifestyle are inevitable. But I also got excited—a relative term for me—at the thought of keeping this diary.

Firstly, it will give me an opportunity to express myself about my own feelings and responses to the options that lie ahead. Then, others who may be interested can keep abreast either by email or blogs—have to find out how to do that! But above all, others who may go through this process can have some idea of the journey.

I received an appointment this morning for a bone scan next Tuesday—that doc must have some pull! I also today I read Alex’s blog on her website www.antinozzi.blogspot.com/ where she wrote:

My father has been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. From what I understand, it seems to me, to be one of the 'best' cancers to have to deal with. One that is slow moving. One that has a treatment to slow it down even more, although there is no cure. Dad mentioned that many men die with prostate cancer, but not of prostate cancer. With my father’s biopsy outcome, it looks as if the cancer has spread and so he now is waiting for the date and time of the next hospital visit for a CAT and bone scan. Depending on the outcome of that, will depend on the treatment choices. None the less, I have concluded that Cancer is spelt S-C-A-R-E.

My father is a strong man. He always has been. He is a very even-keeled, not 'reactive', but very responsive in situations. I remember as a child only one or two times that he 'lost' it, so to speak. My dad has responded very 'Bryan-like' to this whole process. We wouldn't expect anything different. It is exactly what I have come to love about my father, and in him being so, has really helped those around him worry less. He waits for each moment to come, not running ahead to the what if's. "So, we'll see what the results say and address it then". That was his typical response. And now. More of the same. "Not the best results, but one that has good options once the next step is taken." That would be my dad. *yup ... that would be a tear on the end of my nose.

Finally, Dr. Lavens my urologist called at 6 this evening to say my PSA count was down considerably. In his words, “You don’t know how extraordinarily good news this is for you.” I will see him again next Thursday after results from the scans are available and he will outline some new options. Can’t wait!


Thursday November 27, 2008

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Cor. 15:58.

Today is the third day. Apart from the original news, it has been an encouraging time, especially with Dr. Levans’ news yesterday. I still feel fine, no symptoms of any sort—that must count for something. Some encounters have been interesting. During his call, Dr. Levans compared me to his grandfather: “if you were my grandfather I would suggest . . . but you’re not my grandfather!” To think of me as possible family certainly encourages my confidence in his concern for me—even if it emphasises his youth and my age!

A second encounter was even more interesting. You would think that bankers were pretty unemotional types wouldn’t you? We have a very friendly, well-informed and sensible younger lady advisor at the Royal Bank, and in passing we told her of our latest news. She told us her father had the same disease but was not doing at all well. As we were leaving, she said “look after yourself” and gave me an impulsive hug. Then almost as a second thought hugged Ann—I guess she felt she should add an air of appropriateness!

Well, this afternoon I received an appointment for the CT scan next Tuesday, immediately before the bone scan. This means Dr. Levans will have both results at our appointment next Thursday afternoon. This should produce some specific steps to skewer these unwanted pests, and, a concern at present, still enable us leave December 15 for Montreal and England. Nothing like uncertainty until the last minute to keep life interesting! Planning for it regardless.

I’ve not been able to respond to everyone who has written us, especially assuring us of their prayers. If you are reading this, our deepest thanks for your thoughts and intercession on our behalf. I’m sure it is the reason for our confidence in the future.
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4:43:00 PM
by Norfords
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