Saturday December 6, 2008
But as for me, it is good to be near God, Ps. 73:28.
We spent some time today watching Ben Stein’s film Expelled. It details systemic discrimination in the American academic community against the idea of Intelligent Design. One of Ben’s interviews is with Richard Dawkins, the British author of The God Delusion. He, in common with most in the American academic establishment, believes that religion is fantasy or superstition that is helpful to people like me who find comfort in a belief in God. He holds that the “overwhelming proof” of evolution proves the Old Testament God is a myth as any intelligent person must come to acknowledge.
Dawkins denial of God is a belief system, equal to belief in God. After all, the absence of proof of God is not proof of his absence. But the belief or non-belief in God has far reaching effects on our understanding of the world, the sacredness of human life and eventually on the meaning of life itself. Yet we all have a sense of destiny, more than crass animal life and death. Most chilling is the idea that once God is dispensed with, man is his own master and he can control who lives and dies. Whether it’s abortion or euthanasia or the extermination camps of Hitler’s regime, it all starts the same way—survival of the fittest.
If I look inside myself, I sometimes feel that I don’t deserve to live. It is only the knowledge that there is a God of forgiveness beyond me that makes life not only worthwhile, but a joy to live. The awareness that God cares whether I live or die makes me determined to fight sickness with whatever tools are available, for life is worth living and has meaning beyond itself because God exists. That’s why I find “it is good to be near God” in health or sickness every day.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Friday December 5, 2008
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone, Ps. 91:11-12.
This text certainly reflects the way I feel today. It may seem strange that, anticipating some uncomfortable surgery, I would feel excited at the results obtained yesterday—so much so that I had difficulty sleeping last night and spent some time around 3.00 a.m. at my computer! Even the infection that started this whole affair was a blessing in disguise, warning me of the dirty little secret my body was hiding from me. I guess I can’t blame my body, cancer, like sin, tries to remain incognito until it has a good hold.
I reflect sometimes on my emotional response to this threat. I surprise myself at the matter-of-fact way that I have responded. Shouldn’t I feel some anger, fear or at least be depressed? Or am I fooling myself, hiding this all away in some remote dungeon of my subconscious where it is waiting to surface and explode? Or is this part of the “cold fish” temperament that Ann suggests I have? Perhaps it’s not wise to delve too deeply; I am only too happy to be who I seem to be in this situation!
Our text today again helps with an answer. Circumstances are such that I have confidence; not only in God but in the people he has placed in the trauma I’ll soon undergo. The urologist, who will be performing my probable surgery, is a younger man with only six years in the profession. But a good friend of ours is an OR nurse in Lethbridge, not only with many years working with the top surgeons in Calgary, but also working with this surgeon regularly. When I asked her for an opinion on his surgical work —and she is a particularly candid sort—her reply was an unequivocal “100%.”
As some of you have said, God is sooo good.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone, Ps. 91:11-12.
This text certainly reflects the way I feel today. It may seem strange that, anticipating some uncomfortable surgery, I would feel excited at the results obtained yesterday—so much so that I had difficulty sleeping last night and spent some time around 3.00 a.m. at my computer! Even the infection that started this whole affair was a blessing in disguise, warning me of the dirty little secret my body was hiding from me. I guess I can’t blame my body, cancer, like sin, tries to remain incognito until it has a good hold.
I reflect sometimes on my emotional response to this threat. I surprise myself at the matter-of-fact way that I have responded. Shouldn’t I feel some anger, fear or at least be depressed? Or am I fooling myself, hiding this all away in some remote dungeon of my subconscious where it is waiting to surface and explode? Or is this part of the “cold fish” temperament that Ann suggests I have? Perhaps it’s not wise to delve too deeply; I am only too happy to be who I seem to be in this situation!
Our text today again helps with an answer. Circumstances are such that I have confidence; not only in God but in the people he has placed in the trauma I’ll soon undergo. The urologist, who will be performing my probable surgery, is a younger man with only six years in the profession. But a good friend of ours is an OR nurse in Lethbridge, not only with many years working with the top surgeons in Calgary, but also working with this surgeon regularly. When I asked her for an opinion on his surgical work —and she is a particularly candid sort—her reply was an unequivocal “100%.”
As some of you have said, God is sooo good.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Thursday December 4, 2008
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, Gal. 5:22-23.
Well. What a day. My emotions today regarding my health have run the same gamut as the upheaval over our Canadian constitutional crisis. Yesterday’s blog indicated the problem I was having getting through to the urologist's office to confirm today’s appointment. After some false starts I did eventually get through and no appointment had been set up! Kendra, his secretary indicated that he was in surgery all morning and booked all afternoon. Nor had she received the reports of my scans. She would check with him when he returned to the office at 1.00 p.m. At the same time I was watching the doors of Rideau Hall on TV with the same uncertainty to find out if the GG had agreed to prorogue parliament.
About 10 a.m. Kendra phoned to say the she had a cancellation and could I be there at 2.30 pm? She had also phoned the hospital and obtained my results. Ann was in an exam at that time, but I would be there. The doctor indicated that both the biopsy and my PSA level showed my cancer to be a medium risk and very slow moving. Further, the scans showed the cancer to be contained within the prostate. We discussed the options for surgery and radiation, with a waiting time of two months for surgery, and at least a month for an interview regarding radiation. He suggested that we make a decision before going to England so that procedures could be set up on our return in mid March.
So, like the morning at Rideau Hall, it’s all over bar the shouting! We will come to a decision regarding treatment this weekend and the urologist will arrange for things to be underway on our return. Nice neat package—at least ‘til then! Thanks again to all of you who thought and/or prayed for us. Your thoughts and prayers played an important part in assuring a manageable outcome and keeping our trip to England intact. Now, like the government and the opposition here in Canada, the next stage is strategy. But at least our decision will be infused with love, joy, peace, patience . . . . .
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, Gal. 5:22-23.
Well. What a day. My emotions today regarding my health have run the same gamut as the upheaval over our Canadian constitutional crisis. Yesterday’s blog indicated the problem I was having getting through to the urologist's office to confirm today’s appointment. After some false starts I did eventually get through and no appointment had been set up! Kendra, his secretary indicated that he was in surgery all morning and booked all afternoon. Nor had she received the reports of my scans. She would check with him when he returned to the office at 1.00 p.m. At the same time I was watching the doors of Rideau Hall on TV with the same uncertainty to find out if the GG had agreed to prorogue parliament.
About 10 a.m. Kendra phoned to say the she had a cancellation and could I be there at 2.30 pm? She had also phoned the hospital and obtained my results. Ann was in an exam at that time, but I would be there. The doctor indicated that both the biopsy and my PSA level showed my cancer to be a medium risk and very slow moving. Further, the scans showed the cancer to be contained within the prostate. We discussed the options for surgery and radiation, with a waiting time of two months for surgery, and at least a month for an interview regarding radiation. He suggested that we make a decision before going to England so that procedures could be set up on our return in mid March.
So, like the morning at Rideau Hall, it’s all over bar the shouting! We will come to a decision regarding treatment this weekend and the urologist will arrange for things to be underway on our return. Nice neat package—at least ‘til then! Thanks again to all of you who thought and/or prayed for us. Your thoughts and prayers played an important part in assuring a manageable outcome and keeping our trip to England intact. Now, like the government and the opposition here in Canada, the next stage is strategy. But at least our decision will be infused with love, joy, peace, patience . . . . .
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Wednesday December 3, 2008
He who has been forgiven little loves little, Luke 7:47
Today, as expected yesterday, has been a quieter day, but not without its anticipation of tomorrow. I must admit to waking in the night and wondering about the possibilities ahead of me. Perhaps it’s not wise to know too much in these circumstances as the various scenarios can lead to disquiet. Further, because of telephone company “network difficulties,” my doctor has been unavailable and no appointment has been set for tomorrow—a little more uncertainty to test the quietness. Even the text at the head of this blog doesn’t add much comfort at first sight.
Yet forgiveness is the first step to revived relationship. And forgiveness to be received requires an awareness of personal failure. This is true for personal relationships but particularly awareness of the depth to which we have failed God in our disinterest or even outright rejection of him and following a path away from him. In a corollary to our text today, the deeper our sense of sin, the greater is our sense of forgiveness and love for him who forgave us. This is the basis of the most meaningful relationship that earth and heaven afford us. It is on the certainty of this relationship that I have confidence in God’s overarching care and direction for my life and those affected by it.
In the meantime Ann has finished her classes at the university, and preparing for her two last exams. This term has seen her gaining most marks in the high 90s, a great boost to her confidence in her ability to finish her degree with an excellent GPA. Now she is going to be checking my stuff instead of vice versa! We continue to pray that tomorrow may provide us with some resolution to the uncertainty for the future that hangs over us. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
He who has been forgiven little loves little, Luke 7:47
Today, as expected yesterday, has been a quieter day, but not without its anticipation of tomorrow. I must admit to waking in the night and wondering about the possibilities ahead of me. Perhaps it’s not wise to know too much in these circumstances as the various scenarios can lead to disquiet. Further, because of telephone company “network difficulties,” my doctor has been unavailable and no appointment has been set for tomorrow—a little more uncertainty to test the quietness. Even the text at the head of this blog doesn’t add much comfort at first sight.
Yet forgiveness is the first step to revived relationship. And forgiveness to be received requires an awareness of personal failure. This is true for personal relationships but particularly awareness of the depth to which we have failed God in our disinterest or even outright rejection of him and following a path away from him. In a corollary to our text today, the deeper our sense of sin, the greater is our sense of forgiveness and love for him who forgave us. This is the basis of the most meaningful relationship that earth and heaven afford us. It is on the certainty of this relationship that I have confidence in God’s overarching care and direction for my life and those affected by it.
In the meantime Ann has finished her classes at the university, and preparing for her two last exams. This term has seen her gaining most marks in the high 90s, a great boost to her confidence in her ability to finish her degree with an excellent GPA. Now she is going to be checking my stuff instead of vice versa! We continue to pray that tomorrow may provide us with some resolution to the uncertainty for the future that hangs over us. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday December 2, 2008
One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty, Prov. 11:24.
I was struck today by three crises happening simultaneously. We are all aware of the financial crisis, and now the constitutional crisis in Ottawa. As if in sympathy, my body is also going through its own constitutional crisis about who is in charge. Both the first two reflect the second clause in the above text—caused by financial greed or lust for power, and clearly doubt the first! Is there a parallel in my personal story? Growing common wisdom suggests that I may have been niggardly in supplying my body with sufficient nutrients to fight disease—I prefer to feed it my poor taste. Hence now the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil!
Certainly if we treat our God given bodies right we will “gain even more.” But disease is not a simple cause and effect or we would all be held responsible for the illnesses we encounter. I’m certainly grateful for our much maligned health system, and today’s experience increased my opinion of it. Despite having to swallow pints of dye, feeling like a pin cushion and wondering if I was joining the junkie fraternity, the efficiency of the process and friendliness of the staff made it almost a pleasant experience to visit the hospital. I was impressed by the large robotic scanning machines providing pictures that pinpoint disease and vastly improve diagnosis. Some health system bucks well spent and working.
Hospital efficiency also dovetailed my day nicely. Go to the hospital at 9, stay to drink pints of a dye cocktail, swallow powder to blow my belly up, a jab and some rides though Stargate, another jab of dye for the bones and a two hour break. Time enough to go home for lunch—no breakfast today—and take Ann to university. Then back for another ride (very) close up and personal to the scanning cameras—even time to snooze for the half hour while the robots performed. Then back to pick Ann up from university and home in time for supper.
Tomorrow should be easier!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Monday December 1, 2008
Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed, Job 14:5
Well, if I wanted prompting that my days are numbered, this is it! It is a tart reminder that I am limited to my time on earth, something I think about the older I get and brought into sharper focus by sickness. I have already passed my allotted three score and ten years, and am now borrowing from someone less fortunate who didn’t make that number. However, I don’t think this quote means that my personal days are determined without any action on my part, but rather that humankind generally is limited to time on earth. Death is an equal opportunity employer; we all eventually receive the same wage.
For me, death is simply another deadline to be met, with certain things that I want to do or must do to be done by then. It’s a bit like changing my life from an architect to a pastor. A deadline for architectural work could often be extended, but as a pastor, Sunday came whether I was ready or not! Time management was essential for that and for life as a whole. Is my life going to produce “wood, hay and stubble” or something worthwhile? That is in my hands.
So which about the future bothers me the most: my disease or tomorrows scans and their outcome? Actually, I’m bothered the most by the ridiculous farce being played out in Ottawa; a bunch of hooligans scuffling for power, upsetting the business of the country on the pretext of putting it right! Whatever the outcome it increases the uncertainty and pain the country is already suffering. Perhaps the most amusing thing—if that’s possible—is the dead seriousness with which they tackle plunging us all into disarray.
But the scans will go on tomorrow regardless, and I look forward to a visit to the doctor on Thursday for results and a meaningful course of treatment. One way or another life will go on for a time yet and I plan for it to be meaningful for our time now and for eternity. They are both to be joyfully anticipated.
Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed, Job 14:5
Well, if I wanted prompting that my days are numbered, this is it! It is a tart reminder that I am limited to my time on earth, something I think about the older I get and brought into sharper focus by sickness. I have already passed my allotted three score and ten years, and am now borrowing from someone less fortunate who didn’t make that number. However, I don’t think this quote means that my personal days are determined without any action on my part, but rather that humankind generally is limited to time on earth. Death is an equal opportunity employer; we all eventually receive the same wage.
For me, death is simply another deadline to be met, with certain things that I want to do or must do to be done by then. It’s a bit like changing my life from an architect to a pastor. A deadline for architectural work could often be extended, but as a pastor, Sunday came whether I was ready or not! Time management was essential for that and for life as a whole. Is my life going to produce “wood, hay and stubble” or something worthwhile? That is in my hands.
So which about the future bothers me the most: my disease or tomorrows scans and their outcome? Actually, I’m bothered the most by the ridiculous farce being played out in Ottawa; a bunch of hooligans scuffling for power, upsetting the business of the country on the pretext of putting it right! Whatever the outcome it increases the uncertainty and pain the country is already suffering. Perhaps the most amusing thing—if that’s possible—is the dead seriousness with which they tackle plunging us all into disarray.
But the scans will go on tomorrow regardless, and I look forward to a visit to the doctor on Thursday for results and a meaningful course of treatment. One way or another life will go on for a time yet and I plan for it to be meaningful for our time now and for eternity. They are both to be joyfully anticipated.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday November 30, 2008
From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it, Matt. 11:12
Hmmm. Here’s a text that is desperately liable to misinterpretation. Take over the world by force? Is this God’s tough love? Perhaps the crusades were not out of line after all! Maybe Richard Dawkins is right that religion is the primary cause of war. Forceful men, no less, are taking hold of it. But force can describe a number of attitudes besides violence. Just being determined in any legitimate endeavour is a kind of force. Maintaining one’s faith against opposition or in adversity requires a forceful spirit. And the Kingdom of Jesus Christ will advance without violence or warfare for “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight,” John 18:36.
And I am going to require a certain kind of force if I am to maintain some change in my diet. Remember the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil? Breakfast meant cereal with milk and yoghurt, to which I added both the unmentionables. Couldn’t taste either. Maybe it won’t be so bad if I can camouflage the less tasty offerings. Not that I am averse to the change, but it is surely an acquired taste. Is this change a cancer killing operation? We’ll find out, but a healthier intake certainly won’t do any harm! Let’s see if I can remember the principles: Less omega 6, more omega 3, cut white: bread, rice, flour, sugar . . . Oh! And it’s time to add flaxseed oil to cattle feedlot diets too! After all, how can I avoid fatty acids if the steer I eat consumes it?
But as I said yesterday, we had a joyful family time, great food and greater company. Today they left this morning, not without a touch of sadness in my heart. The house felt empty when they had gone. But seeing the paraphernalia they brought to ensure a secure and happy baby, we were so appreciative of the effort they made to be with us. And happy baby she was, living up expectations of our title of Adorable Norah. So the day was one of cleaning up, recovery and some quiet time of required reading for the cancer war—thanks to the forceful encouragement of my womenfolk.
From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it, Matt. 11:12
Hmmm. Here’s a text that is desperately liable to misinterpretation. Take over the world by force? Is this God’s tough love? Perhaps the crusades were not out of line after all! Maybe Richard Dawkins is right that religion is the primary cause of war. Forceful men, no less, are taking hold of it. But force can describe a number of attitudes besides violence. Just being determined in any legitimate endeavour is a kind of force. Maintaining one’s faith against opposition or in adversity requires a forceful spirit. And the Kingdom of Jesus Christ will advance without violence or warfare for “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight,” John 18:36.
And I am going to require a certain kind of force if I am to maintain some change in my diet. Remember the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil? Breakfast meant cereal with milk and yoghurt, to which I added both the unmentionables. Couldn’t taste either. Maybe it won’t be so bad if I can camouflage the less tasty offerings. Not that I am averse to the change, but it is surely an acquired taste. Is this change a cancer killing operation? We’ll find out, but a healthier intake certainly won’t do any harm! Let’s see if I can remember the principles: Less omega 6, more omega 3, cut white: bread, rice, flour, sugar . . . Oh! And it’s time to add flaxseed oil to cattle feedlot diets too! After all, how can I avoid fatty acids if the steer I eat consumes it?
But as I said yesterday, we had a joyful family time, great food and greater company. Today they left this morning, not without a touch of sadness in my heart. The house felt empty when they had gone. But seeing the paraphernalia they brought to ensure a secure and happy baby, we were so appreciative of the effort they made to be with us. And happy baby she was, living up expectations of our title of Adorable Norah. So the day was one of cleaning up, recovery and some quiet time of required reading for the cancer war—thanks to the forceful encouragement of my womenfolk.
Saturday November 29, 2008
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time, 1 Peter 5:6-7
It seems the waiting game is God’s way to help us into humility. I recall the story of the lady who told her pastor she needed patience. Her pastor began praying for all sorts of calamities to befall her until she told him to stop. “Tribulation worketh patience” (Rom. 5:3) he responded, quoting the King James Bible that she knew so well. If we are to attain that peaceable spirit that most of us long for, being able to wait is often part of the process.
Besides, waiting is the opportunity for God to speak to us. There is so much of the mundane in life that gives us time to think—providing we turn the ipod off! Driving, walking, household chores and waiting rooms are time given to us for considering the important things in life, and waiting for tests and results for health concerns can certainly give us a sense of real priorities.
As I mentioned yesterday, some of our grandchildren are with us this weekend, coming because they felt the need to visit with us during this uncertain time. And what a joy this is. Lee joined Dan and his wife Joelle, their one year old adorable Norah, for a delightful family time. Karen, our daughter (not Lee and Dan’s mother!), husband Al, his mom and their son Dustin also came for a great family supper. Later we relived some shared memories by slide show of Dan and Jo’s marriage four years ago. We are overwhelmed by God’s goodness in the family he has given us. If we have to wait, what better way to do so?
This all makes us aware of those with broken families or rebellious children who miss this togetherness and the heartache it brings. Pain comes in all sorts of clothes, and broken families and broken health are all part of the landscape of life. But I find it harder to be despondent about my difficulties when we receive so much of God’s bounty elsewhere. The two are just not comparable!
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time, 1 Peter 5:6-7
It seems the waiting game is God’s way to help us into humility. I recall the story of the lady who told her pastor she needed patience. Her pastor began praying for all sorts of calamities to befall her until she told him to stop. “Tribulation worketh patience” (Rom. 5:3) he responded, quoting the King James Bible that she knew so well. If we are to attain that peaceable spirit that most of us long for, being able to wait is often part of the process.
Besides, waiting is the opportunity for God to speak to us. There is so much of the mundane in life that gives us time to think—providing we turn the ipod off! Driving, walking, household chores and waiting rooms are time given to us for considering the important things in life, and waiting for tests and results for health concerns can certainly give us a sense of real priorities.
As I mentioned yesterday, some of our grandchildren are with us this weekend, coming because they felt the need to visit with us during this uncertain time. And what a joy this is. Lee joined Dan and his wife Joelle, their one year old adorable Norah, for a delightful family time. Karen, our daughter (not Lee and Dan’s mother!), husband Al, his mom and their son Dustin also came for a great family supper. Later we relived some shared memories by slide show of Dan and Jo’s marriage four years ago. We are overwhelmed by God’s goodness in the family he has given us. If we have to wait, what better way to do so?
This all makes us aware of those with broken families or rebellious children who miss this togetherness and the heartache it brings. Pain comes in all sorts of clothes, and broken families and broken health are all part of the landscape of life. But I find it harder to be despondent about my difficulties when we receive so much of God’s bounty elsewhere. The two are just not comparable!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)