First, there are no
formulas for raising children. We have guidelines, but no two children are the
same and require different handling. What our oldest child would take as a
warning, our second would accept as a challenge. This means that even
experience is a limited asset. Our third—the ultimate strong-willed child—was
different again. That strong will would be invaluable in later life and needed
to be moulded and not broken.
Second, we have no
final control over our children. Of course, in the earliest years we have some
control, but in the end we can only influence them. We are not creators, making
others into our own mage; children are people with their own God given
personality and decision making ability. This is true from early childhood on,
and increasing independence only lessens our control over them. In fact, good
parenting will prepare them to channel their independence into constructive and
creative ways.
Finally, there is no
guarantee that our children will turn out the way we desire. We are all aware
of children from good families that turn out badly, and vice versa. Perhaps our
biggest mistake is in planning to bring
up good children. As we have seen, this is outside of our capability. What
we can do is plan to be good parents,
praying for God’s wisdom and direction for us; for His call upon their lives at
an early age and guidance in their major choices of life.
