Today's Fatherless and Widows

Jesus recognized a variety of sources of singleness. Some are born not to marry, some become single by the actions of others, and others choose not to marry. The disciples had suggested that maintaining a faithful marriage was so difficult that singleness was a preferable option.

The tragedy of our time is the number of persons who have become single because of that difficulty. A single mother—or father—mirrors the widow, and needs to be accorded similar care. Scripture states God’s concern for widows and orphans many times, providing for their sustenance, and accusing those who ignore their plight.

Our culture continues to devalue the family and trumpets easy divorce. Apart from the pain of divorce, the drive for women’s independence has led many women to a life of unnecessary hardship, leaving many unmarried mothers to fend for themselves and the children without the benefit of married companionship and support.

We must recognize the deluding false messages encouraging marriage break-up before accusing those that fail. Some marriages break up because of intolerable abuse, but those that end simply due to dissatisfaction could have endured to the benefit of both partners and children.

While the biblical mandate for faithful marriage may be demanding and resolving marriage conflict challenging, its rewards are incalculable.

Honouring Parents

Ann’s parents failed to provide an adequate home for their children due to mental illnesses. The home was well known in the neighbourhood for its critically dysfunctional nature, and the authorities frequently took the children away.

Ann’s aunt repeatedly provided required clothing, and neighbours would bring food for the children. Inside the home there was barely enough disreputable furniture for needs; even that the mother’s worst periods of bi-polar extremes often destroyed.

Ann’s three brothers—all from different fathers—spent most of their childhood in institutions. Ann finally went to live with her grandmother during her teen years.

These appalling conditions did not lessen Ann’s love for her parents. During her teen years, when her mother would return home after her frequent stays in the local mental hospital, Ann would attempt to restore normality in the home with donated furniture and equipment.

Even knowing the destructive behaviour would repeat itself, she determined to alleviate the home conditions—simply because they were her parents. Even during our early married years Ann used items from our growing home to rebuild her shattered childhood home.

Ann feared for our own children’s safety; for a period we lived close to the mental institution that often housed her mother, and she kept the doors locked. But she kept ongoing contact with her parents, ensuring, as she was able, their well-being despite their destructive behaviour.

She honoured her parents in this way until their deaths, seeking to follow God’s greater imperative more than her natural responses.

God Has No Grandchildren

The bumper sticker read: “If I’d known grandchildren were so much fun I would have had them first.” With grandchildren we have no parental responsibility and can send them home when we’re tired.

But to be a grandchild of God is a vulnerable place. My commitment to God when I was ten years old was a meaningful decision. But my father’s conviction of his faith bolstered my assurance of faith. He clearly expressed his belief and confidently preached it.

As long as confidence in some-one else is our assurance of faith, we are God’s grandchildren. If we rely on some-one else’s belief, our own faith may falter and our confidence is undermined.

Jacob is a prime example. Early in life, his confidence was in the God of his father Isaac: he referred to “the Lord your God” in Genesis 27:20. But later he met God at Bethel and the Lord became his God. For the rest of his life, his personal relationship with God—tenuous at times—became his mainstay.

Joseph came to that place much earlier in life. He lost all contact with his family and those who knew God. His adversity drove him to seek God for himself.

There is nothing wrong with leaning on others during a time of incubation and maturing of our faith. But a systematic knowledge of God’s word, and experience of God’s involvement in our lives, will make our faith our own. Then we are able to “give the reason for the hope that you have,” 1 Peter 3:15. Where are you on this journey?

Egypt's "Abortion" Program

After reading again the story of Pharaoh's purge of the Hebrew male children, it occurred to me that he would have preferred abortion to infanticide, but they could not abort without knowing the child’s sex. Thus, the midwives were told to kill male children “on the delivery stool”; the closest thing to abortion.

It appears that the midwives excuse for not killing the male children—that Hebrew women were more vigorous than their Egyptian counterparts and “give birth before the midwives arrive,”—maintained male births and the Hebrew nation continued to flourish.

Developing nations, where the birthrate is high, commonly practice population control by abortion—often pressured by wealthier nations. But abortion in developed countries reduces the birthrate to well below the replacement rate of 2.4 live births per couple. Quebec leads the way with a birthrate of only 1.4.

China and India have a disproportionate male population due abortion or infanticide of females as male children are preferred. This shortage of marriageable women leads to bartering and kidnapping girls for marriage.

Birth is simply a growing event in life, like puberty, the first sexual experience and sickness. Thus there is only a fine line between abortion and infanticide, the latter growing in western nations.

Killing children is recognized as the most heinous of crimes and those who prey on children are the worst pariahs of society. The unborn are the most defenseless of all, yet they are often disposed of with the least regret. In the “Christian” west, we cannot point too many fingers at the king of Egypt.

Polygamy and Adultery

Legalization of gay marriage opens the door to other marriage relationships—in particular, acceptance of polygamy. 

At the time of writing, polygamy exists in the province of British Columbia and it is not pursued by the police. This is partly because to do so would provoke a challenge under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Approval of one alternate form of marriage reduces the defence against others.

Polygamy was practised in Old Testament times, but this and other readings indicate that it was not very satisfactory, recall Hannah and Peninah, 1 Samuel 1:1–7. Both of Jacob’s wives were unhappy, Leah because she was not loved and Rachel because she was barren. While tolerated in the Old Testament, it was illicit by New Testament times when Jesus repeated the creation ideal of one man and one woman, Matthew 19:4–6. 

Polygamy may not yet be a serious issue, but adultery is rampant and repeats all the problems of polygamy—humiliation, jealousy and possible abandonment. The problem, unfortunately, is not restricted to the married partners. It has its effect on their children. 

Hagar’s child Ishmael copied the scorn of his mother, Gen. 16:3–4; 21:8–9, and rival children from David’s wives turned to violence and murder. Similarly, children in adulterous homes often suffer lifelong trauma, and may develop habits of their adulterous parents in adult life. 

The greatest security we can give children is a home that is secure in its parental relationships—where two parents of opposite sex love and respect each other.